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Short fiction [Other] Moderators for this section: spiderbaby49, ochsterboxter, Poenamu, Lingua Pura, carolynrn, Inker

Reception

I arrived at the door to the Great Hall, but they said I could not come in here; for, look, it is so written in stone above the gate. But I could go in through the other door.
I looked at the other door and looked at the people going in there, and I knew it was not for me. So, I waited at the first door.
By and by someone I wanted to be friends with told me it did not matter which door I entered by as they both led to the same room, and we could meet up inside. I looked at the picture of it, a Great Hall with chairs all round the walls.
So I entered by the other door, to find the room divided down the middle by a glass wall. I sat on the floor with my back to the glass.
NarnieB
[Fri Feb 03, 2006 12:18 am]
Is this the very interesting beginning to a longer piece? Possibly about inequality? I hope there's more to come. We're always told to put the hook in the opening paragraph and you certainly did that.
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Firecat
[Fri Feb 03, 2006 10:57 am]
No, it's just a snippet. Sad
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Firecat
[Fri Feb 03, 2006 11:14 am]
Sorry, Narnie, that must have sounded very rude, and I do appreciate your review and your interest in my works. It's just that, snippets are all I seem to be able to manage lately; and I'm stuck in a deep rut that must be getting pretty boring.
Would you believe that this springs from ideas I've been mulling for 40 years?! Shocked
Not much to show for it, is there?
Which reminds me of another idea I've had for 30 years... Sleepy
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NarnieB
[Sat Feb 04, 2006 12:51 am]
No worries mate, you're talking to one of the world's biggest cowards here. Do you have a low boredom threshold or do you lack confidence?
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karjon
[Sat Feb 04, 2006 1:00 am]
I really liked this, FC. It had a kind of parable feel to it. It also reminded of my favourite Dr Seuss story 'The Sneetches' - but without the happy ending, obviously.

No matter how hard the mc tries, they will never be accepted, never be good enough, never acheove their goal - good stuff.

When you're using this few words it's quite important to try not to repeat, in particular 'door'. I'd vary that a bit 'entrance', 'ingress' anything to add a bit of variety.

Just a suggestion.

Cheers

Karen
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Firecat
[Sat Feb 04, 2006 9:57 am]
Thanks, Karen. I'm not familiar with The Sneetches, having not discovered Dr Seuss till he was put in my school library when I was about eleven and so past my prime for Cat in the Hat, and Green Eggs and Ham.? Confused
I will look at my entrance again!
Nikki.
(50?)
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Firecat
[Sat Feb 04, 2006 10:02 am]
Narnie, how can you say you're one of the world's biggest cowards when you paddle off to sea for months at a time with a motley male crew???
I do have a low boredom threshold.
And, I do lack confidence!
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NarnieB
[Sat Feb 04, 2006 6:58 pm]
I laugh at my demons that's how I do it! I have hidden my writing away for 30 years so I'm not that brave.

I saw a question raised by someone looking for advice on how to knuckle down and finish a story and one of the answers was to not think about writing a full piece (poem, novel, short story etc.) but to build it scene by scene. Think only of "what would happen if?" Dunno if any of that applies to you but it's just a thought. As I may have said before, you have a loyal readership out here desperate for more.
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