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Side by side in pews


Outline: A bit flip, but perhaps we ask the wrong questions and do not look in the right places! Discuss.
Every week we gather here
Sitting side by side in pews
Trying hard to concentrate,
Waiting for celestial news.

In your mercy, hear our prayers,
All our troubles, Lord, we bring.
Here comes the collection plate.
Up we get and have a sing!

Now the priest gets up to preach.
Wonder what we’ll have today:
More devotions, more confession,
Say your Rosary every day.

Lord, I’m asking for your help:
You can do it, you’re the Boss.
On the altar candles flicker
Before a statue on a cross.

Now at last the Mass is ending,
(Still I nurse my inner pain.)
Peace be with you, on your bikes!
And out you go into the rain.

Perhaps next week I’ll stay at home
And say my prayers to the wall.
But friends come up and talk to me.
Perhaps He’s listening after all…

JAM

[Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:10 am]

Cool stuff, Anonymouse. Gave a light-hearted feel to a serious occasion. Had a slight struggle with the rhyming scheme, but yes "I get it". Clever stuff, and very enjoyable.
Cheers
_________________
JAM - Mooless tolerates nought... emphasis disguised as thought.
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BrianRobertNeal

[Thu Feb 26, 2009 11:21 am] Watto Anon

Mrs BRN (Aniseed.) is a "Senior Church Elder" and I am an agnostic so we agree to differ on the subject. But I get the feeling that your piece is spot on because as far as I can see it's the social element of her Church that is its strongest virtue.

Brian

The reviewer would appreciate your comments on: The Moebius Loop Writers' Group.
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maipenrai

[Thu Feb 26, 2009 8:17 pm]

liked this a lot, good write.
bernie
_________________
I know that you have suffered lad
but suffer this a while
whatever makes a soldier cry
will make a killer smile

L. Cohen
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Anonymouse

[Thu Feb 26, 2009 9:29 pm]

Thanks for dropping by Brian,Bernie and Jam. I was in cynical mode, but exploring why people go to church. I suppose the social aspect - the belonging to a community - is no bad thing. One point I was trying to convey was the hope that people have that God will speak to them in a direct and obvious way, whereas help has to come through people.
_________________
"We are such stuff as dreams are made on
And our little life is rounded with a sleep!"
WS
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Ian Gould

[Sat Feb 28, 2009 1:50 pm]

I like this. Thoughts flipped over. Or are we looking for a lot where there is very little. Cynicism is catching.
Good one.

Ian
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Piya

[Mon Mar 02, 2009 4:29 am]

I like the wry cynicism in this.I wrote one in flash on religion which is a bit more rabid.....lovely flow to the poem itself!
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spiderbaby49

[Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:35 am]

This touches a period of my life when all that sustained me was the fellowhip of my church going friends so though I see you have written it as wry look the last part has a truth for me.

spidey
_________________
Learn to appreciate the free stuff in life, chill.
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Anonymouse

[Tue Mar 03, 2009 6:01 pm]

Hi Ian, Piya and Spidey/ Cynicism aside, we are all in need of fellowship and the church community certainly provides this. It does keep you going, as I think my poem implies, when you feel a bit lost in other ways.
_________________
"We are such stuff as dreams are made on
And our little life is rounded with a sleep!"
WS
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Logicus tracticus

[Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:57 pm]

Quote:
the church community
have a slight problem with that, feel even in that its only a small percentage that are devout, in their living day to day.

That aside, yes a few tweaks here and there to equal out the syllable lengths to the lines, but as Jam said a lighthearted feel to a serious occasion
_________________
read once for meter, twice for rhythm
thrice for rhyme, then again for
leisure or measure of pleasure;
you: parasites of no consequence:
Larkin
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Anonymouse

[Wed Mar 04, 2009 12:11 pm]

You are right on all counts, Logi. In a nutshell my poem says you can't always get a quick fix from going to church, but the people are nice - or should be!!! Progressing beyond the nutshell, are our expectations unreasonable? Are we looking in the wrong place? Should we be looking at all? Etc. etc.
PS I shall look into the metre!!
_________________
"We are such stuff as dreams are made on
And our little life is rounded with a sleep!"
WS
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Tsunami

[Tue Sep 15, 2009 9:16 am]

I do know what you mean, the Church is the people, not the meeting house. Yet when I went to church regularly, I always wondered which if any would be my friends if they knew the real me. Only the Sybils loved me for my self, and their hugs in the Peace were amazing.
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Not waving, drowning!
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