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Poetry Showcase [Other] Moderators for this section: Weaver, ochsterboxter, CadenzRime, Lingua Pura, ososment, carolynrn, Inker

L'Hiver

Outline: An indulgence for the benefit of francophones, at whose mercy I place myself!!
C’est que je ne voulais pas regarder les feuilles en face,
Me laisser convaincre que la mort existe.
Que c’est triste de voir tourbilloner les maintes petites mortes
Dans les allees et les chemins en deuil.

Si tu regardes dans les cieux,
Tu verras que tout tombe et jamais rien ne s’eleve
Vers la voute qui te menace.

La pluie, la neige, les tenebres, tout tombe.
Et rien que la fumee et les oiseaux se promenent en haut,
Tristes et mornes et pleins de brouillard et de plumes.

Tout est enferme dans le cercueil de l’hiver.
Jenny Darling
[Thu Jan 19, 2006 12:15 am]
Eh bien, je jamais!

My French isn't up to yours these days ( yours was always better anyway!) but even though I couldn't understand some of the words, I could feel the ambiance, and the intensity of this poem. Well done!
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Jenny Darling - mwah!
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Anonymouse
[Thu Jan 19, 2006 12:31 am]
Thanks for that, Jenny! I just felt like posting something a bit different - but I can't find how to put accents on, so that makes it a bit difficult to read!
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"We are such stuff as dreams are made on
And our little life is rounded with a sleep!"
WS
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ososment
[Thu Jan 19, 2006 11:19 am]
brillant! Un beau cauchemar gothique! ..I pensent que... mon Français n'est pas très bon...

Wink
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I wish I was from another planet, the Earth aint bad, just the bastards on it.
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Robb Hinge
[Sat Jan 21, 2006 1:00 am]
Well! Er very good - I think! My school boy french is so rusty that most of it has fallen off! A for original idea Anony!


Robb Confused
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strayshift
[Tue Jan 24, 2006 8:22 pm]
Not speaking any french - I'm interested in what this means - any chance of a translation?
If its help there are slightly different 'rules' for poetry in french (typical one might cynically add...) Be good to discuss this Smile
Gordon
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Clarissa
[Tue Jan 24, 2006 9:35 pm]
Not sure whether to comment in French or in English but I think I would feel more at home with this in French.

Un poème sur la mort de toute chose, l'hiver symbolisant cette mort avec ce cercueil qui accueille les feuilles mortes sur les chemins en deuil.(Très belle image par ailleurs) Et même cette fumée et ces oiseaux qui planent au-dessus sont teintées de cette tristesse de brouillard et de plumes dans le ciel d'où tombent cette pluie, cette neige, ces tenèbres.

Non, pas un poème nostalgique, un poème sur la mort et la tristesse infinie.

Une belle réussite... Bravo.
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Anonymouse
[Sat Feb 11, 2006 6:35 pm]
Many thanks, Os, Rob, Gordan and Clarissa for reading! Special shouts for those who don't usually grapple with French!
Yes, Gordon, there are probably much more formalised rules for writing poetry in French - but I am afraid I am blissfully ignorant (apart from male and female rhymes)! I may try a translation - watch this space! - but I tend to think and feel differently in French. It's something to do with the lyricism of the language, and things that sound fine in French can sometimes seem a bit OTT in English. It might end up as a different poem!
Thanks, Clarissa, for your understanding of what I was trying to describe: that feeling of desolation that Winter brings, reminding one of a mortality one does not wish to face.
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"We are such stuff as dreams are made on
And our little life is rounded with a sleep!"
WS
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Lingua Pura
[Mon Apr 10, 2006 1:03 am]
Anony

Gosh ... now this took me by surprise!

This is really good ... both the use of language and imagery - gives a profound little image of death / of winter - everything falling not rising and anything that does wrapped in mourning.

There are certain words here that ring particluar bells in my head and that bring back certain memories of times spent living and working in France - very evocative.

And I don't think I can fault the grammar either.

Well done. Excellent.

Stephen x
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Anonymouse
[Tue Apr 11, 2006 11:45 pm]
Well, there you go, Stephen! Thanks for reading and commenting. It reassures me that I have not lost my touch. My poems always used to come out in French because I felt less self conscious writing sentiments down in a foreign language. Rather like going to Confession in French - it doesn't sound nearly as bad! I used to be bi-lingual, but a bit out of practice now. I had a rural dwelling in the heart of the Normandy countryside for a decade and had some good times there.
Redwine Very Happy
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"We are such stuff as dreams are made on
And our little life is rounded with a sleep!"
WS
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