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Poetry Showcase [Other] Moderators for this section: Weaver, ochsterboxter, CadenzRime, Lingua Pura, ososment, carolynrn, Inker

Today we brought a bay tree to the ground


Outline: Actually, we only pruned it, but heh! poetic licence!
Today we brought a bay tree to the ground,
A mighty tree that surged towards the sky
As if no pleasure on this earth were found
Save in the striving from its roots to fly.

This tree that from a tiny leaf had grown,
Hand-planted by a child, a mother now,
Had marked the passing years and stood alone
Protecting smaller plants from sun and snow.

Custodian of the light, dispensing shade
That grew oppressive as the sun withdrew,
This tree crashed down with branches stripped and flayed,
Mingling its leaves with rosemary and rue.

The light plays in the garden now – and yet
The flower beds are seeded with regret.

KieranJay

[Tue Jun 21, 2005 1:30 am]

That poor tree. At least you have some remorse though Anony, and this poem is a good lament to mark its passing/pruning. I love the way you're so proficient with your metrics and rhymes, you seem to be particularly skilled at writing sonnets. The last two lines summed it up well for me, I gather that you feel the same way as your flowers. Excellent work Anony.

Kieran
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Loobyloo

[Tue Jun 21, 2005 9:21 pm]

Hi Anony - long time no 'see'!

Really liked this one.
Beautifully constructed, with a sad and strong emotional element, well rounded with the final 2 lines.
It felt inspired by a true experience?
Lovely.

looby
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Mmagic

[Wed Jun 22, 2005 12:56 pm]

Very poignant.

Like the sudden removal of any large fixture in our lives, there's always a gap left over.

The way you write about the tree leads me to think that you had no choice over removing it - a bit like the death of a loved one. They go, and we have no choice in the matter. Even if they were released from great suffering, 'The light plays in the garden now – and yet / The flower beds are seeded with regret.'

Which makes this a clever poem indeed. I shudder to think of the power your writing might have generated had you actually removed the whole tree instead of being inspired by mere pruning!

Thanks for sharing, Anony.

Andrew
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Anonymouse

[Thu Jun 30, 2005 8:13 pm]

Thanks, KJ, Looby and Andrew. It was inspired by a pruning rather than an outright felling! But it was really blotting out the light! And to think it all sprang out of a small twig!
I find that writing in sonnet form helps the flow of ideas. I'm not so good in free-fall!
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