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Poetry Showcase [Other] Moderators for this section: Weaver, ochsterboxter, CadenzRime, Lingua Pura, ososment, carolynrn, Inker

A church without the need for prayer.

There is a place that's dear to me
Upon the rolling Cumbrian hills
A church without the need for prayer
Where Wordsworth saw his daffodils,
A place where poetry writes itself
With soft simplistic elegance
In words that dance and interplay
With timeless grace and sweet romance.


There is a song I love to hear
When memories are not yet dead
So far away, so crystal clear
It wanders softly through my head,
To make my dreams feel sanctified
Extraordinary as it seems
My song gives me the deep insight
That dreams are never merely dreams.


There is a moment that I need
When every motion fades away
A touch of newborn innocence
That signifies the coming day,
A pause before the rising dawn
When sun tied clouds have struggled free
To let my moment wander on
In search of what is soon to be.


Between the morning and the night
The sounds of life are dear to me,
Like waves that crash upon a shore
Or children's laughter dancing free ,
But most of all my senses feel
The need for what is pure and true,
For every poem I ever penned
Is never more than "I love you..."

BrianRobertNeal
[Thu Jul 02, 2009 11:21 pm] Watto BSD
I wonder if it might be better if the poem was split into quatrains, which would give an ABCB rhyme pattern.

A nice gentle read.

Did you know that but for Sister Dottie Wordsworth woulkd have wandered as lonely as a cow!

Brian

The reviewer would appreciate your comments on: Unsound Assumption (new title and edited) Ta Carol
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Carol Kaiser
[Thu Jul 02, 2009 11:58 pm]
Truly lovely poem.
Really well written.
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Piya
[Fri Jul 03, 2009 2:24 am]
Lovely imagery in a gentle almost romantically soporific style...thanks for a great start to my day!
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BrianRobertNeal
[Fri Jul 03, 2009 10:10 pm] Watto BSD
Just a small point, one of this web-sites rules is that for every posting you inturn make 4 reviews of other peoples work.

If we had Mods that Moderated they might have drawn this to you attention.

The life blood of Writers' Web-Sites is the communication between its writers.

I notice that despit perhaps 7 posts you've yet to make a single review.

Brian

The reviewer would appreciate your comments on: Unsound Assumption (new title and edited) Ta Carol
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MummyPenguin
[Sun Jul 05, 2009 4:39 am]
Hi
This is lovely - just like the landscape in which it is set.

I see that you are new to MW so may I say Welcome and hope that BRN's note about reviewing will not lead you to stop posting.. Yes, it is nice to be reviewed, to get some constructive help on what could be improved. But far more important for me is to share the poetry.

Welcome again
MP
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