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Short fiction [Other] Moderators for this section: spiderbaby49, Poenamu, Lingua Pura, carolynrn, Inker

All You Need is Love

Outline: 60 word fiction
Let me run through the list. The hall, caterers and disco are booked; the cake has been ordered; the wedding dresses are in progress; the going-away outfit has been bought; the stationery has been printed; the invitation list is settled; the hen and stag have been organised; the honeymoon has been arranged; and the church and vicar. Is that everything?
kashers
[Wed Feb 04, 2009 2:17 am]
Wrapped up neatly. Well done.
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The power of the word is in the lateral, not literal.
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Kirio
[Wed Feb 04, 2009 6:57 am]
Very true!
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AnotherGlovePuppet
[Wed Feb 04, 2009 7:56 am]
This is nicely done. But would it be punchier without the repetition of the verb "to be", i.e.?

Let me run through the list. The hall, caterers and disco are booked; the cake has been ordered; the wedding dresses are in progress; the going-away outfit has been bought; the stationery has been printed; the invitation list is settled; the hen and stag have been organised; the honeymoon has been booked; and the church and vicar. Is that everything?

Maybe it'd be too staccato like that, but it would give you a few words to characterise "me" a bit. Something like: "I'm determined everything's going to go like clockwork - this time around," for instance.
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Moonmute
[Fri Feb 06, 2009 9:58 am]
I think what works so nicely is the title here, and then all the pragmatic details. Good one.
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bluecity
[Mon Feb 09, 2009 10:23 pm]
This is great! It has good flow and good metre.

And the sentiment is spot on!

Rosemary
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Rosemary
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