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Poetry Showcase [Adventure Stories] Moderators for this section: Weaver, ochsterboxter, CadenzRime, Lingua Pura, ososment, carolynrn, Inker

THE PUZZLE OF WOD

Outline: A Shakespearean sonnet written and polished in the flash poetry group, with a big thanks to Garry for the mind-bending prompt which became the poem's title and theme.
Review: Any feedback most welcome
THE PUZZLE OF WOD

Thirty years the inscription baffled him
and for thirty years he'd studied their god
before cracking the code that got him in
to the hitherto-unknown world of Wod.

The pyramid vault was deep down and vast
and he'd kept its co-ordinates quiet
and when he pushed a stone his die was cast
as the hidden transporter's engines fired.

Ten seconds later he opened his eyes
and saw four pink moons in a light green sky
and two Red Giant suns starting to rise
as a forty-foot cyborg marched on by.

Saw an inscription on a slab of stone
that said he'd take thirty years to get home.
Roo
[Thu Aug 21, 2008 1:55 pm]
Hi Ron,
I am an ignorant man. Is the Shakespearean sonnet 4-4-4-2 rather than 8-6, as per Dylan Thomas inter alia?

Anyway, I think you've done amazing things to get from your immediate reaction to this refined study.

Thanks for jumping in Ron.

Garry
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I thought the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
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Ron
[Thu Aug 21, 2008 2:16 pm]
Very Happy Thanks, Garry, much appreciated. Wink

Click here to learn all about sonnets. Bet you that you will want to have a go at one after you've read it. Wink You gave me THE PUZZLE OF WOD to solve, I give you the code for Sonnets. Laughing

By the way, was waiting for your feedback before I sent it off for possible publication. I can click that 'send' button now. Cool

Cheers
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". . . and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make." - The Beatles
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Roo
[Thu Aug 21, 2008 2:38 pm]
Ah, you honour me above my worth! Thank you very much for the code to sonnets. I find myself squirming about in bed thinking, "YES!! That would work." And I scribble it down but by morning the nouveau has become the inexplicable, and I start again.

You have created a wonderful, fire-breathing, mankind-enhancing group here with the flash poetry. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have access to all these wonderful authors, and indeed to throw my two penn'th into the ring. Thank you Ron.

Fantastic!

Garry
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I thought the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
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Ron
[Thu Aug 21, 2008 2:41 pm]
Cool Wink
_________________
". . . and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make." - The Beatles
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Logicus tracticus
[Thu Aug 21, 2008 3:14 pm]
Lot of "ands" in this, would look to be changing them in the next edit or two..

deep down any particular reason why down, deep wuz not used...
my edit might read....

The pyramid vault was down, deep and vast,
helped him keep its co-ordinates quiet
But when he pushed that stone a die was cast
then the transporter's hidden engines fired.


Funny how often the flashes are often written so easy
_________________
read once for meter, twice for rhythm
thrice for rhyme, then again for
leisure or measure of pleasure;
you: parasites of no consequence:
Larkin
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Ron
[Thu Aug 21, 2008 4:35 pm]
Ah, now you see why I keep asking you to come back to the flash group - those 'spot-everything eyes' of yours.

Points taken, well spotted. OK

Cheers
_________________
". . . and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make." - The Beatles
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Ian Gould
[Wed Sep 10, 2008 4:53 pm]
Enjoyed, entertained and amused.
Good un.

Ian
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Ron
[Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:29 pm]
Cheers, Ian,

Blimey, mate, it was really weird on Wod - took me ages to get back, man. Shocked Laughing

Cheers
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JAM
[Sun Mar 29, 2009 2:32 pm]
A brilliant off-worldly sonnet Ron. This breaks the mould and shows true skill by the poet. It's going in me faves.
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JAM - Mooless tolerates nought... emphasis disguised as thought.
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Ron
[Sun Mar 29, 2009 2:49 pm]
Cheers bro Cool

Here's another one I bet you stick in your faves. Wink
I never hallucinate, I just see things that aren't there by Grant. He's really excelled himself this time. It's awesome. Cool

Cheers
_________________
". . . and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make." - The Beatles
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