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Poetry Showcase [Humour] Moderators for this section: Weaver, ochsterboxter, CadenzRime, Lingua Pura, ososment, carolynrn, Inker

Thank you for flying with WE ARE FECKIN' BRILLIANT airlines


Outline: Just a daft laugh
"Thank you for flying with We Are Feckin' Brilliant airlines
and we hope you enjoyed your flight.
We are pleased you didn't panic with a nose-dive from a height
of 30,000ft
when the starboard hole appeared right next to your seats.
If anyone spilt their coffee in the dive
we'll pay your dry cleaning bill for that
and any other(let's keep it private) mishap
and thank you for clapping when we levelled out
and again when we landed safely
and a special thanks to the guy
who just stuck us on YouTube today
and forgot to say,
"It was brilliant flying with We Are Feckin' Brilliant airlines."
But we'll let him off
because he showed off
our skill at keeping you safe
so we hope you enjoyed flying with We Are Feckin' Brilliant airlines
and we hope to fly you another day
because barrel rolls can be done and are lots of fun
and you won't even spill your coffee
and if you look in your seat pouch
behind the menu
you'll find there a free yummy toffee.
Thank you for flying with We Are Feckin' Brilliant airlines
this is your Chaplain speaking."

Loobyloo

[Sat Jul 26, 2008 2:20 am]

ooooh very sharp.
I wonder if they'll look back and wonder why they actually clapped.
I wonder if they'll ever get in a plane again.
! wonder...

looby
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Roo

[Sat Jul 26, 2008 6:12 am]

A question: Were you aware that Qantas was involved in an incident just yesterday immediately after take off from Manila (Phillipines)? Passengers report hearing a "Boom". The plane returned to Manila. No injuries. A 2-metre hole under the luggage compartment, now with considerably less luggage than moments before.

If you were aware of this, the poem is a lightning quick and funny look at air travel as we all know it. If not, prescient.

I enjoyed the humour, especially "This is your Chaplain speaking". Fun, a lighthearted look at the world we live in.

Thanks for sharing

Roo
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Ron

[Sat Jul 26, 2008 1:24 pm]

Cheers, Looby,

I've been on flights where the "Up, up and away!" brigade clap - funny to watch. Can't remember correctly, but think I may have even clapped, myself, at an aborted Tri-Star take-off at Heathrow - nose-wheel lifts, followed by immediate reverse thrust and full brakes - cool. Laughing

.............

Roo,

Flashed it off after watching the News report last night. The nose-dive must have been fun to be in, hey. Laughing

Cheers, both. Click here for the YouTube video.

Cheers
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". . . and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make." - The Beatles
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Ron

[Sat Jul 26, 2008 3:34 pm]

Laughing Just sent it to Quantas Head Office in Oz - Customer Care Department. Think it'll get in their in-flight mag?

Laughing

Cheers
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". . . and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make." - The Beatles
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Roo

[Sat Jul 26, 2008 5:02 pm]

I seriously doubt it Ron.

The unions here in Oz have been grumbling about the maintenance work being "redistributed" to the Phillipines, but the fact is that QANTAS is no longer an Australian airline. It was bought, as I understand it, by BA, and since the Oz workforce is more expensive than Phillipines there was no logical reason, in terms of a business decision, that QANTAS maintenance whould stay. The point may be that the maintenance was always of such a high standard in Oz that QANTAS is still trading on the safety recored which resulted.

I know no more than any other newspaper reader. I enjoyed your very quick response to a live news item. In fact, you wrote it before I was even aware of the incident.

Cheers,

Roo
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Ron

[Sat Jul 26, 2008 6:47 pm]

Yeah, I agree,

The maintenance problem was also spoke of on the BBC - structural integrity had been highlighted on a previous maintenance report on the same aircraft, apparently. Rolling Eyes Let's hope they can keep to the 'old standards' of Quantas now they've had this lucky escape. But it may have been just another one of those flukes, as BA have standards second to none, too.

Cheers
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". . . and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make." - The Beatles
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morrigan

[Sat Jul 26, 2008 7:01 pm]

hehe

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZIQUo5Si_WA&feature=related

http://youtube.com/watch?v=5X_7Xt2ga-s
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Ron

[Sat Jul 26, 2008 7:19 pm]

Laughing Cheers, Morri, Laughing

When I lived at Sibson in the 80s, I watched a pilot take off in a Cessna 185 into a 60mph headwind - he only moved about 6ft along the runway before he did a vertical take-off up to 800ft . . . where he did a one-eighty and shot off to his destination. Cool Laughing Looked like a bloomin' Skylark in Spring. Mind you, he was the chief flying instructor. Cool Laughing Us jumpers were grounded.

Cheers
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". . . and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make." - The Beatles
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maipenrai

[Sat Jul 26, 2008 8:37 pm]

excellent piece Ron, enjoyed the vids Morrigan Smile

if you really really hate someone reccomend Garuda, if you really, really, really hate someone reccomend Tajik Air

Bernie
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but suffer this a while
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will make a killer smile

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Ian Gould

[Sun Jul 27, 2008 6:59 am]

You were quick off the mark with this. Almost another plane of lost luggage. If maintenance engineers knew about this earlier in the year and checks by the airline said it was ok, I wonder which was right? It seems everywhere, the wrong people are in the top jobs. I am sure they are having a good old laugh at your poem now. They are pinpointing your house now for a spot of unidentified falling debris. Blame will probably stand with the scapegoats and lesser mortals who are ignored all along.

Excellent. Clever and quick. Respect.

Ian
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Ron

[Sun Jul 27, 2008 11:47 am]

Cheers, Bernie,

I remember you telling me about Tajic Air Laughing Yikes

..........

Thanks, Ian,

Crikey, thought I knew a lot about air travel but didn't realise airline pilots were trained in high-level bombing techniques too Shocked where's m'hard hat? Laughing

Cheers, both.

Cheers
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". . . and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make." - The Beatles
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morrigan

[Sun Jul 27, 2008 1:21 pm]

do they still have animals on planes? i remember once flying with goats, i think it was an internal flight, and one guy had a sub machine gun (or automatic weapon of some sorts) slung about his person.

nigeria airways used to have this interesting boarding procedure. constantly overbooked, had to pay dash to even be in with a chance of entering the 'competition'. the guy in charge would fire his pistol into the air and the 'passengers' would then have to drop their luggage, complete three circuits round the outside of the plane, as it stood on the tarmac, before forming a disorderly queue at the foot of the boarding steps. my, we don't have fun like that any more do we.

can't remember them all, but twa = try walking across, boac = better on a camel.

sorry ron, hope you don't mind, would say 'hijacking' your thread, ahem, lol.
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The truth is scandalous. But without it, nothing has any worth. An honest and naive vision of the world is already a masterpiece ... As you approach the truth, your solitude will increase.
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Weaver

[Mon Jul 28, 2008 8:43 pm]

Timely or not, it made me laugh almost as much as the 'Yorkshire Airlines" skit Hale and Pace did, many chins ago.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm6VC5gdaFA
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Ron

[Tue Jul 29, 2008 12:11 pm]

Hi there, Weaver,

Yeah, Yorkshire Airlines Laughing Laughing Laughing thanks for reminding me.

Glad I made you laugh. Cool

Cheers

..........

Morrie,

Hijack my threads at any time when you have stories like that. Laughing

Cheers
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". . . and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make." - The Beatles
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arthurian

[Sat Aug 02, 2008 12:41 pm]

Lol Ron
Topical and funny, good satire, although I know a few extra rhymes you could put in this one Razz to cover soiled underpants! Shocked
Good One G
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