Who is online?

24 users online:
-- 0 registered
-- 0 hidden
-- 24 guests

0 user in the chatroom

(User activity over the last 10 minutes)

1331 registered users
Members List

Poetry Showcase [Other] Moderators for this section: Weaver, ochsterboxter, CadenzRime, Lingua Pura, ososment, carolynrn, Inker

untitled

Outline: penned during my brief napowrimo stint a few weeks ago..it's an early kind of tribute, it's softer because I feel softer about it I think, it feels early and delicate in a way.
Why: continuity and justa show
Review: your thoughts i ask
slow spring and wet
like a minute-young foal
we try to stand
as if for the first time

there are no words
this little smile I can’t help
the warmth and soft pressure
of hands entangled

you are teaching me
how long a week is
to hold my breath
I can still taste you

hesitant season-signs I wait
in between the last time dream
and that you are coming
coming soon.
Author Explanation: hmm, it's unworthy, that's all.
BrianRobertNeal
[Thu May 08, 2008 12:57 am] Watto Tim
A much simpler style than you usualy adopt. A very open ended piece that is difficult to tie down to any one interpretation.

Good to seeyou back in geberal circulation,

Brian

The reviewer would appreciate your comments on: Bledlow Bleak (Edit)
Report to moderator
scarletdancer
[Thu May 08, 2008 2:20 am]
Hi Tim,

I love the softness of this poem. I like the softness of the romanctic flavour in your poem; which I really loved. The first steps in anything brings many feelings. You know what you have accomplished here Tim? The simplicity of a beautiful poem which will remain a classic. Great write. I thoroughly enjoyed the read. Excellent. cheers, scarlet
_________________
Our defense is in the preservation of the spirit which prizes liberty as a heritage of all men, in all lands, everywhere. Destroy this spirit and you have planted the seeds of despotism around your own doors.
Report to moderator
Chris Ripple
[Thu May 08, 2008 9:15 pm]
I think you said it best, Tim. 'Early' and 'delicate'. I dunno, I can't quite put it into words but I did get that from it. It also sounds good when rolling round the tongue. I liked it.
_________________
'He was born with a gift of laughter... And a sense that the world was mad'

Rafael Sabatini
Report to moderator
Indie
[Fri May 09, 2008 6:15 am]
some beautiful expression here...it has captured the softness, in my opinion: the minute young foal is a brilliant touch.

well done!

indie
_________________
Indie

Life,
Often moves sideways.

When least expected.

But we prophesying fools
plan, and plan, and plan.
Report to moderator
Philip Graham King
[Fri May 09, 2008 11:41 am]
This is excellent Tim
_________________
....Problems that time will solve. Problems that time has solved....
Report to moderator
Carson [<18]
[Thu May 15, 2008 4:49 pm]
Thankyou, everyone.

I very much appreciate your responses on this. Quite right, it's not the style or tone that I'm normally concerned with. Pleased you liked it.

Tim
_________________
"I'm so much older than I can take"

All these things that I've done - The Killers
Report to moderator
1