BIONIC BETTY.



Bionic Betty bit the dust
it wasn't age... she succumbed to rust.
Stainless steel, plastic, iron, titanium
from soles of feet right up to cranium
she was caught too often in the rain
which would oxidise her joints again
then her legs stopped moving at the hip
which caused a frightful social blip...
Imagine the dignitaries standing there
and the embarrassment caused...
It's just not fair.
The squeaks, burps and farts
that emmanated from her tum...
Did they lose the can of three in one ?
But she always seemed to be quite jolly
when wheeled 'round in her personal shopping trolley
and that last time she fell and sprained her wrist...
Was it true the old bird was steaming pissed
and managed to pass out gulping gin ?
Not a bad state to be in,
not when you've reached the age of
one hundred and one
at that age any excess must be fun.
Please spare a thought for the family
'cos they've lost their Granny now, you see...
and it must be said and I find it quite ironic
the undertaker said the fumes were toxic
and she should be scrapped and melted down
not buried in that hallowed ground
where her remains would slowly rust away
in ten thousand years nearly to the day
and imagine the state of the N.H.S
if everybody made that awful mess ?
the state of the country would be even more chronic
if landfills had to accept the dead bionic
It's hard not to feel a twinge of some disgust
when Bionic Betty bit the dust.