WITH PRIDE AND PREJUDICE.




When you wake to that smell that's so sweet to the nose
and listen sleepily to the sizzling of rashers in rows
you can always tell The English wherever you go
by their reaction to the great bacon sandwich

Now some races of Celtics like The Scots, Irish or Welsh
have picked up good English habits because they have nothing else...
They'll play rugby, cricket or football just like one of us
and afterward they'll partake of the old bacon sandwich

But the Arabs and Latins, the Asians and Jews
Carribean, European, American and African too
all clamour to live here but they don't have a clue
why we venerate the great bacon sandwich ?

and some of these races have their own religion
which states the bacon sandwich is the food of The Devil
It's quite clear they're uncivilised when they still maim and kill
in the name of a God who won't eat a bacon sandwich

They can keep all their falafel, kebabs, burgers and couscous
chicken tikka masala, sweet and sour and what have you
they're alright for a night out and something to do
but they pale before our great bacon sandwich

Should Johnny Foreigner wish to live here, there's no problem at all
just a loyalty test at immigration which can't fail
and the first thing they're met with as they process the form
should be a butter dripping, doorstep bacon sandwich

and any vegetarians and vegans should all go straight back home
we have enough nutters and cranks of our own
and our government hold files with all their names upon
Those who'd stir up trouble over our quintessential bacon sandwich

Those who refuse it on other grounds should not be admitted
they can piss off somewhere else and bloody good riddance
if they can't venerate the sanctity of those things we hold dear
and show respect to our great bacon sandwich

It's not a question of colour... That's not even an issue
what matters is principle and standards people conform to
we all know God is English by the way our tastebuds quiver
when we bite into our first bacon sandwich

So if you want to be English and live over here
then it's up to us to make certain things perfectly clear
you'll fit straight into our society when you embrace our warm beer...
our yob culture...
and our bacon sandwich.