BEVY CHASE (OR BLYTH PANIC & DRUNK SOUND ENGINEERS).



Our sound engineer Mick's been out drinking all day
he's having fun while I work for our living today
but it's now half past six and the band's aren't here to play
so my indigestion's now chronic.
The band's mobile might help if I ring through on time
but the number's engaged, there's somebody on line
the thin end of the wedge is getting bands here on time
or dissolve into chaos and panic.

But I'm going to settle the score
I'm going to settle the score
I'm going to settle the score
and I hope you're not bored
'cause I've written a few verses more...

It's now just gone seven...the bands still aren't here
and I've managed to lose our own sound engineer
his descent into darkness becomes only too clear
if you add up pints of cider and Guinness.
But lo and behold the band knock on the door
they're dying for pee's and their botties are sore
the traffic was heavy, they couldn't do more
as they soundcheck we wait for an audience
The support band turn up then they're off to the pub
while the headliners are stuffing themselves full of grub
our panic is over but oh, here's the rub...
our sound engineer is still snoring.

I'm out to settle the score
still out to settle the score
I'm out to settle the score
and if Mick gets off the floor
I'll just do a few verses more...

When the audience arrives they come one at a time
if we manage to pay the bands that'll be fine
we're still short on the door but it's Blyth Power time
so fuck it... Let's head for the mosh pit.
A bleary eyed monster appears on the scene
It's our sound engineer Mick and his face has turned green
he's ready to work... but superceeded it seems
so he's off to the bog for a vomit.
By the time he gets back, oh the place is a mess
the floor is a minefield of discarded dress
and the front row is singing along with the best
live band in the land or the planet.
There's old songs and new songs and Animal Farm
to look in the pit you'd think someone could get harmed
but there's no broken jaws and there's no broken arms
it's safer than going to Stevenage Borough'

I think I've settled the score
I think I've settled the score
I think I've settled the score
Now I've settled the score
There's only a couple o'lines more...

Now the end is in sight, there's one more song to play
I've been on my feet from six a.m. today
so I count up the money then get carried away
forty six quid in profit... but knackered.
So both bands will get paid and I'm truly relieved
we can pay off some more debts with the money received
and the audience is smiling when we ask them to leave
which stops me feeling a complete utter bastard.
So here's to Blyth Power and the punters that came
promotors and agents and those in on the game
for promoting rock gigs just might drive you insane
a bit like sound engineers do when they're plastered.