THE CROWN Vs CHRISTMAS. F.


Father Christmas came to town as he does every year
but no one warned him of the rules they now enforce 'round here
He started dropping presents off and dispensing the season's glow
but the regulations had been breached and so he'd have to go

He had his collar felt in London by the boys in blue
and they banged him up in Pentonville, like they do to me and you
and as he sat there in his cell he pondered what he'd done
and why our powers that be had arrested him for giving out a little fun ?

But when the charges they were read, his tears began to flow
he'd broken rules and regulations that he did not even know.
The first charge was read, he hung his head as the prosecution made the case
It seems poor old Father Christmas was now in some disgrace

"You entered the country illegally without using the proper visas
so the goods that you brought with you are now subject to our seizure
and I must remind the court he did stop off at Dover...
Here's one people smuggler who must learn his vile crimes are over

and you had no immigration forms... Or none that have been reported
so that when you have served your sentence you will certainly be deported.
Also... You compounded that for when you crossed our border
your reindeer could have brought rabies in and that's certainly out of order

and then there is the sled you ride with no tax disc or insurance...
It's those like you who do not care who fill society with abhorrence.
You also gave the police a false address and that wasted their time...
No sane man lives at The North Pole... So that's another crime

and you still have not yet told us where you obtained all these goods...
All these toys, these games, these dvd's, these drinks and Christmas puds
and since you do not have receipts you could not have paid the duty...
I submit my lord we have before us a master criminal and all his booty..."

Then as the judge summed up the case Father Christmas felt his spirits die...
What was the use of coming here... Why should he even try ?
But he stood up and he calmly spoke "This is what it means to me...
It's the giving, not the receiving... and singing carols around a tree

It's to celebrate the birth of one who died that peace might reign
It's not there so you officious fools can sell your wares for gain
for in your scrabbling after money you have forgotten all he taught...
Goodwill to all comes from within... It's not something that gets bought..."

The judge pounded his gavel and Father Christmas gave a sigh...
A child in the public gallery loudly began to cry...
And as the sentence it was passed and the bailliffs took him away
there were a few who knew they'd seen injustice done that day

for the festival of Christmas although done up in lights
means nothing to some people when they forget the life of Christ
So spare a thought for Father Christmas as you dispense good cheer
as he sits quietly in his cell, now serving twenty years.