Love Story in Fifty Words

Merelda · [Sun May 15, 2005 5:00 pm]

great use of traditional associations with months eg. april showers, march winds and feb's chill. Short but effective (probably the best way to go about it!)

Merelda Black cat

xx

Loobyloo · [Sun May 15, 2005 5:32 pm]

A lovely poem anony - beautifully crafted although the last line threw me a bit. The poem reads that he gradually goes off her, yet he brings her flowers of love in June. Am I reading it right?

looby Very Happy

_________________
If you run around in circles, you know where you will end up.

MummyPenguin · [Sun May 15, 2005 7:07 pm]

Hi there

I read this as she did the spurning - rejecting the flowers 'May blossoms' he gave her in June. Probably wrong.

pinktwirl · [Sun May 15, 2005 9:48 pm]

Such a story in so few words! I love the line 'and February could not chill the heat of their passion'
Shame about April onwards - but that's the nature of the game. Brilliant poem though!

Pink

PenJen · [Sun May 15, 2005 10:12 pm]

Lovely whirl of love urges within a seasonal spill. I too saw them fade away into summer, a sort-of 'once bitten, twice shy' edge, and that she would not fall for a promise of July.

A sad, and beautifully depicted little piece that spelt an oncoming storm. A delicate and lovely read.

Jen Peace

x
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Wonderful World of Worders Guildhall Press

carrieann · [Mon May 16, 2005 7:49 am]

Six months gone in a flash. Enjoyed this one and loved the way it ended. By June he wanted her but she no longer wanted him. How true to life. Liked that little twist.

Mmagic · [Mon May 16, 2005 4:58 pm]

This was super! Not only did you involve the changing months and seasons into your story, but the emotions they invoke too. An admirable poem indeed.

Thanks for sharing, Anony.

Andrew

Anonymouse · [Mon May 16, 2005 6:13 pm]

Thank you, friends, for your kind comments about the little poem. I enjoy working with the passing of the seasons and have observed the frustrating way lovers tend to be at cross purposes a lot of the time! By the time he realises what he has, she has moved on and his offering is irrelevant! (Actually, I get a lot of stuff just listening to my daughters!)

Anony Rolling Eyes

_________________
"We are such stuff as dreams are made on
And our little life is rounded with a sleep!"
WS

Roy · [Sun May 22, 2005 11:00 pm]

I really liked this. Even the title has a sense of the brevity of the relationship, and the seasons are employed very elegantly without straining to be over-clever. That is a compliment, honest!

Publishable, I would say.
_________________
Roy

www.royeveritt.com

Anonymouse · [Fri May 27, 2005 9:53 pm]

And I take it as such, Roy. Thanks.

Anony Smile

_________________
"We are such stuff as dreams are made on
And our little life is rounded with a sleep!"
WS

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Love Story in Fifty Words

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Poetry Showcase [Other]	Moderators for this section: Weaver, ochsterboxter, CadenzRime, Lingua Pura, ososment, carolynrn, Inker
Love Story in Fifty Words Outline: A prose exercise I turned into a poem. They met with holly and poinsettias in the snows of January, and February could not chill the heat of their passion. But March’s softer breezes tempered his feelings, and she wept with April’s showers and spurned the May blossoms he brought to her with love in June.