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Poetry Showcase [Other] Moderators for this section: Weaver, ochsterboxter, CadenzRime, Lingua Pura, ososment, carolynrn, Inker

There is no beauty


Outline: I often wish I lived in the country!!
There is no beauty in the houses on my street
Except in narrow gaps between the walls
Where lilac fuses with the clouding skies.

There is no beauty on the pavement that we tread
Except in fissures between concrete slabs
Where grass and green moss struggle to survive.

There is no beauty in the chatter that we hear
Except from time to time a few bright words
That twinkle through a fog of platitudes.

So life is loved through cracks and little gaps
Where beauty, truth and wisdom dimly spied,
Exist to give us happiness and hope
Along this tunnel as we darkly ride.

MummyPenguin

[Fri May 13, 2005 10:28 pm]

Hi
You describe the urban environment well and those little things that remind us of nature.

Thanks for a good read.
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maipenrai

[Fri May 13, 2005 11:33 pm] their is no beauty

the more i read your work the more i like it, good piece ,which gives at least to me a little picture of how we see little beauty in our urban boxes
_________________
I know that you have suffered lad
but suffer this a while
whatever makes a soldier cry
will make a killer smile

L. Cohen
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Roy

[Sat May 14, 2005 12:21 am]

Another, erm, beauty Anony. I did just wonder about the last line, and 'darkly ride'. I can see you're suggesting mood rather than physical reality here - a result of all that went before - and that ending on a rhyme is often successful. It just sounds slightly awkward to me. But I am being picky (it is late...).
_________________
Roy

www.royeveritt.com
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Firecat

[Sat May 14, 2005 12:30 am]

Delightfully delivered poetic message, sensitively conveying the sadness of the messanger.

I am from the countryside, I refuse to weed between the cracks in my patio and paved front garden! Our neighbours on each side scrub and bleach theirs. The sky in the city is so much smaller than in the country as it starts so much higher, its light so much diminished. We don't see the rain coming till it is upon us.

Thankyou for sharing it with us!
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Mmagic

[Tue May 17, 2005 8:55 pm]

A wonderful perspective, Anony! Beauty does indeed thrive in tiny little cracks, when hindered by the broad brushstrokes of concrete.

A lovely rhyme and rhythm to this - a thing of beauty in itself. And an uplifting message too. Things might be dark in the main, but little cracks of light are there for those who look.

Thanks for sharing, Hey-Nonny-nonny.

Andrew
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Anonymouse

[Tue May 24, 2005 11:10 pm]

Many thanks for your comments. (Yes, Roy, I agree that I wanted that final rhyme, so it may sound contrived!) The idea for this came as I watched a narrow oblong sunset between two houses in my street!
_________________
"We are such stuff as dreams are made on
And our little life is rounded with a sleep!"
WS
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carrieann

[Tue May 24, 2005 11:50 pm]

I can relate to this one, having recently written something similar myself. Very well described, how beauty always somehow manages to shine through the cracks even though it sometimes feels so distant. Nice tight structure this poem. Cleverly constructed and a really worthwhile read.
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PenJen

[Wed May 25, 2005 1:38 am]

Beautifully written and astutely observed and what a woonderful analoght - although I read that it was from you having spied the sunset through two houses.

This can work onmany frames and I'd like this to be a little reminder that 'beauty' is within and can be naked to the human eye and among some of the ugliness of life and our pressurised, manic dyas of work etc.. that there is 'beauty' in the most simpliest of things - and often free; like a smile, a kind gesture, other people and of course, the natural environment.

This made me smile and count my lucky stars that I live in a place where the sea is at my back door and I can see the sky for miles.

Thanks for this. Loved it, Anony.

Jen Very Happy Rose
x
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Wonderful World of Worders Guildhall Press
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Finbarr

[Wed May 25, 2005 9:36 am]

I ask myself whether this poem is a little crack of beauty in a wasteland, but to answer yes would be unfair to many friends. I hear you saying very strongly that much of life is dull, drab - that it is not constant fun, beauty and excitement. But every so often, the beauty, the fun, the moments of love force their way through. Your street, your pavement become a metaphor for so much in life, be it a writing site, a relationship or our life itself. And the final message is one of hope in when things seem dark and meaningless.

I good insight well captured.

F.
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Anonymouse

[Fri May 27, 2005 9:57 pm]

Thansk, Carrieanne, Penjen and Finnbar for reading. I do assure you that I don't go around with my eyes glued to the cracks in the pavement! But little glimpses of beauty do enhance our lives, perhaps the moreso if we are not surrounded by loveliness all the time. Although, I wouldn't mind having your view, Jen!!

Anony Very Happy
_________________
"We are such stuff as dreams are made on
And our little life is rounded with a sleep!"
WS
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