Camel Train

metman · [Sun Sep 09, 2007 5:52 pm]

very neat - I enjoyed it.

Ron · [Sun Sep 09, 2007 6:26 pm]

Thanks, metman, Cool

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". . . and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make." - The Beatles

Carson · [Sun Sep 09, 2007 6:42 pm]

Aye Ron,

Nice and compact this. Good piece. I saw a camel train once, couldn't tell ye where I was now though. Nice flash, strange what your mind derives from the prompts sometimes.
Enjoyed,

Tim

The reviewer would appreciate your comments on: You're
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"To bore one hole after another in language, until what lurks behind it, be it something or nothing, begins to seep through. I cannot imagine a higher goal for a writer today."

Samuel Beckett

Ron · [Sun Sep 09, 2007 8:03 pm]

Cheers, mate, will get to your piece tomorrow - thanks for invite. Wink

Remember that long opening shot from Lawrence of Arabia where Peter O'Tool watches Omar Sharif riding towards him from the horizon? That's what Saudi looks like and, Laughing

we hung the original fire door from the Turkish steam train that Lawrence himself blew up - it lies on its side to this day in Northwest Saudi Arabia - above the clubhouse bar in our 'illegal' Saudi clubhouse bar. Laughing

_________________
". . . and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make." - The Beatles

Logicus tracticus · [Sun Sep 09, 2007 8:10 pm]

walking ron walking....can't have been a mirage, they shimmer float drift commute my choice would be transported/teleporting,

but come on Ron walking, its like saying the pink floyd are a rock band
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read once for meter, twice for rhythm
thrice for rhyme, then again for
leisure or measure of pleasure;
you: parasites of no consequence:
Larkin

jjcocker · [Sun Sep 09, 2007 11:44 pm]

I agree with Logi. Walk weakens the impact of the rest of the poem. Not sure of what else you could use, but I think it needs something with a bit more omph, so to speak.

On the whole it conjured up a picture in me mind of camels floating in thin air. A strange, but funny thought!

Cheers, Ron.

JJ
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JJ

"There is only one real sin, and that is to persuade oneself that the second best is anything but the second best."
Doris Lessing.

Ron · [Mon Sep 10, 2007 11:38 am]

hovering - ? shimmering - ?

Agree walking is weak, thanks for spotting that. Cool

_________________
". . . and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make." - The Beatles

Ron · [Fri Sep 14, 2007 4:13 pm]

It got pub'd in the Peterborough ET today Very Happy

so thanks for your support and help, folks. Wink

_________________
". . . and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make." - The Beatles

bulldozer · [Mon Sep 17, 2007 1:57 am]

Hi, ron

Just finished reading your poem, a nice and flowing poem. Smile

Just like i am their in the sun, seeing the Camel Train in the heat haze of the midday. Star

Nice one.

Danny.

Ron · [Mon Sep 17, 2007 1:22 pm]

Hi bro

Cheers man - it was in the ET on Friday. Cool

Pop down for a drink. Seeya soon.

Cheers

_________________
". . . and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make." - The Beatles

Susanna Huang · [Mon Sep 17, 2007 2:27 pm]

Ron
If you fallow the footprint of the camel,you will find out truth!
Sue

Ron · [Mon Sep 17, 2007 6:14 pm]

Thanks, Sue, Very Happy

Haven't heard that one before - thanks for that too - very cool. Cool

Glad you stopped by here and read this.

All the best,

Ron.
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". . . and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make." - The Beatles

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