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Poetry Showcase [Other] Moderators for this section: Weaver, ochsterboxter, CadenzRime, Lingua Pura, ososment, carolynrn, Inker

Sleeping in the buff

Outline: Or trying to fantasize about it being hot enough to do this...
Open the windows and wip off your nighty!
Twirl it around in the hopes of a breeze.
Better make sure that you turn off the lighty:
You don't want a Peeper with trembling knees!

Just lie quite still with the sheet gently resting
On limbs that are spread-eagled flat on the bed.
Swatting away as the hands come a-questing.
You want that right now like a hole in the head.

At three in the morning the temperature's dropping
But you are oblivious there as you sleep.
Sheets cast aside, you now have no topping
And dawn finds you crouched in a shivering heap!
Mmagic
[Thu Apr 28, 2005 12:20 am]
I think you'll find it's not just his knees a-trembling!

(note, first line should be 'whip')

A cracking poem, much enjoyed. A lovely, laugh a minute rhythm to it, with a great 'in yer face' (quite literally, it turns out) use of language.

Bawdy, almost Carry On in style, with a lovely twist of an ending. 'And dawn finds you crouched in a shivering heap' How often has that happened? It's funny, 'cos it's true!

Thanks for sharing this romp, Mousey. I've been waiting to label a poem a 'romp' for ages. And you've nabbed it! Well done!

Andrew (has never whipped off his nightie)
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Andmymare
[Thu Apr 28, 2005 12:47 am]
Yes, this is a fantasy, this is spring here,
and I just changed out of flannel sheets
flannel sheets mind you,
and still pile the covers on

but this made me laugh out loud,
"hole in the head" Dragon Footprints Footprints Run

ahh. good on ye, I've just written something for
you
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endakl
[Thu Apr 28, 2005 3:22 pm]
the thrill of casting sheets off. knowing the chill will find you. a nice jaunt.
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SparroWyrm
[Thu Apr 28, 2005 4:10 pm]
This is really good, I was of course attracted by the title Wink
Really good rhythm and rhyme. Very enjoyable to read out loud (as I did to my friend lol!)

Nice jaunty feel.. very good sorry for bad review... very tired... good stuff though Mr. Green

!
_________________
"Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair but manifestations of strength and resolution." - Kahil Gibran
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CarrieOut
[Thu Apr 28, 2005 5:18 pm]
Laughing

Excellent poem. Pacey, witty, and leaves you thinking "I must try that sometime..."

Carrie Smile
_________________
'But in my arms til break of day
Let the living creature lie
Mortal, guilty, but to me
The entirely beautiful'

W.H. Auden; 'Lullaby'
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SparroWyrm
[Thu Apr 28, 2005 5:20 pm]
Shocked
You've never slept naked....?

! Weird
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"Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair but manifestations of strength and resolution." - Kahil Gibran
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CarrieOut
[Thu Apr 28, 2005 5:29 pm]
Laughing

Not as described!

Carrie
_________________
'But in my arms til break of day
Let the living creature lie
Mortal, guilty, but to me
The entirely beautiful'

W.H. Auden; 'Lullaby'
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Anonymouse
[Thu Apr 28, 2005 6:39 pm]
Thanks, folks! I felt that having just written about a pope, something bawdy might be called for as an antidote! Glad it made you laugh!!!

Anony Laughing
_________________
"We are such stuff as dreams are made on
And our little life is rounded with a sleep!"
WS
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Anonymouse
[Thu Apr 28, 2005 8:57 pm]
P.S. I find it strangely reassuring, Andrew, that you have never whipped off your nighty. Keep it on, that's what I say!

Anony Laughing
_________________
"We are such stuff as dreams are made on
And our little life is rounded with a sleep!"
WS
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sravasti
[Fri Apr 29, 2005 12:29 am]
This made me laugh out loud when I was sneaking a peak at work but couldn't post a reply then. It's a good thing I didn't have a nighty on there.

I loved how the rhymes and rhythm worked to make the mood lighter and more rollicking.

annie
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Anonymouse
[Sat Apr 30, 2005 12:08 am]
Thankyou, Annie, glad it made you laugh. I actually quite like writing rumpty-tum verses - and they do, as you say, lend themselves to light, frothy topics!

Anonymouse
_________________
"We are such stuff as dreams are made on
And our little life is rounded with a sleep!"
WS
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jojo123
[Sat Apr 30, 2005 11:48 pm]
Smile oh yes, yes !the picture as clear as a bell.Wonderful jollyness to this ,the rhyme was spot on..thanks for the giggle Smile)
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as i live and breathe let me be me
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Roy
[Mon May 02, 2005 12:00 am]
Just caught up with this, and pleased I did. And tonight it's almost warm enough... I wrote a bawdy(ish) one about the Pope, is it safe to publish yet? Embarassed
_________________
Roy

www.royeveritt.com
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Anonymouse
[Tue May 03, 2005 12:37 am]
I don't know...oh, go on then!
_________________
"We are such stuff as dreams are made on
And our little life is rounded with a sleep!"
WS
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Jenny Darling
[Tue May 03, 2005 1:05 am]
Nonny, you minx!!!!! Anyway, what's a nighty? Never had any use for them........

Playing the violin in the nuddy, now that's challenging!


Evil or Very Mad
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Jenny Darling - mwah!
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