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Poetry Showcase [Other] Moderators for this section: Weaver, ochsterboxter, CadenzRime, Lingua Pura, ososment, carolynrn, Inker

Today I start

Outline: A poem of resolution - or not...
Today I start the rest of my life.
How shall I begin?

Clean the windows and scrub the floors?
I think not.
Throw out old clothes, old books, old pots and pans,
Everything I thought I ought to keep.
Let them sleep? No! Let them go.
Get rid of the silt that gave me guilt:
Half written book, recipes I never tried, diets never followed,
Unfinished courses and neglected resources.
Go mad and buy music: let it flood the rooms with joy.
Play it loud, who cares? Children fled, no one in bed.

No one, no one, no one.
No one to please me, no one to please,
No “Where have you been? Who have you seen?”
No “Let’s do this together.”
No one, no one, no one…

Today I start the rest of my life.
How do I begin?
ochsterboxter
[Fri Jul 14, 2006 12:36 am]
Dear Mouse,

I think this could be about breakups or children leaving but universally it hits me as that moment in time, and there seem to be many, where life changes, leaving you tout seul. Excusez moi mon francais, c'est merde!

To me it sounds a bit like a 'cry out' but that's me filling in with my own personal baggage. The cry out being "Ok, I'm coping, so what do I do now?"

You've got me with this, reminding me of.... clearing out the one room that meant the most to me after horrible break up.....my kitchen, I scoured it from top to bottom. Got rid of all the weird things that were festering, old carry out menus, broken, plastic toys that were going to be fixed and the like.

I love your pacing in this. You state a fact, un-nervingly succinct this one!

'Today I start the rest of my life.'

And then follow with the question;

How shall I begin?

For me that is beautiful in itself, as it is true. You end up sitting in the same space with one big piece missing going "eh? and now?"

Clean the windows and scrub the floors?
I think not

You made me laugh here. Absolutely! And then the list of things we didn't do, not having the time to our selves.


Although I like this part, it was the only bit that jarred with me. Perhaps guilt on my part that I never raise a duster...so ignore, I like your words just the way they have come out.

Let them sleep? No! Let them go.
Get rid of the silt that gave me guilt:

This bit felt very familiar,

Go mad and buy music: let it flood the rooms with joy.
Play it loud, who cares? Children fled, no one in bed.

Ach, I know this well. Buying cd's I don't know if I'll like,filling the dark. A kind of striking out in the wake of an ending, trying to find out who you are once you've finished catering for others.

And please, I dont want to talk about the ending here. I like your repetition with the, 'no one, no one, no one....'
I love this as it speaks ten fold about recognising a new role and a seemingly empty one at that, but maybe play with it, to get out the full potential of that wrought (sp?) emotion. And I don't want to talk about it because it is one of the most daunting places to be...at the same time though, free-ing

And then the ending.....Today I start the rest of my life.
How do I begin

The way you have circled back here makes me think of a person, left by others, surveying the place they all once lived. Trying hard to work out what the fook to do now. Get rid of all the crap and clutter. I think we must be trained in that in home economics. And then, what do to do with life?

How do I begin?

I liked the revolution back to this as it seems daunted but hopeful.

I really liked the way you have written this poem, a good place to start, this place your protagonist is in; feeling all the terrible emotions that go with change and loss but the level headedness carrying them through.

I really enjoyed this and I'm sorry I've come to review it on such a personal level but it really did pluck my strings.

Loved it. Thanks for the read.

Amy x
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Cul-De-Sac
[Fri Jul 14, 2006 3:40 am]
Oh', Nony, this is rather odd one for me. I do like the first few verses, but then I thought ahead and wondered what was next and you supplied it with the old clothes/book line.
That read as a bit predictable.
Then the following lines ran along this theme and again I was nodding to myself that this is what I was expecting(or similar) and so I was prepared for plainess.

Then I came to the last stanza and I liked it. I liked it because you hadn't given any distinct indication of which way you are leaning in the emotional stakes that is.
Theres a nice bit of ambiguity about it all, that says there is more to this story or perhaps there is more installments to it. Stay tuned.

Score out of Ten?

Ha-ha! I'm not falling into that trap! I can't count, cheers Cul.
_________________
Oedipus liked his eyes runny...
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Anonymouse
[Sun Jul 16, 2006 11:59 am]
Thanks Amy & Cul for stopping by to comment. I think it can apply, as you say, to any scenario when you find yourself alone at a cross-roads in life. This is a personal - and probably more female - response to that situation. Yes, Cul, I deliberately made the last stanza ambiguous because being alone can be negative or positive and you find out for yourself which it will be for you.
Thanks for reading.
_________________
"We are such stuff as dreams are made on
And our little life is rounded with a sleep!"
WS
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Jenny Darling
[Sun Jul 23, 2006 12:22 am]
Nonny, loved it, and understood. Yep.
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Jenny Darling - mwah!
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Sammy-Sparkle
[Mon Jul 24, 2006 10:10 pm]
Sorry, Anony, I'm only a man (and I've got the certificates to prove it Laughing ), but I understand this poem too.
Where do I begin? For some people, that's the first thought that runs through their heads when they wake up in the morning. Me included.
Why can't life be as simple as it probably is on the soaps I never watch (unless Poirot is a soap... it's all I ever watch, around the clock, as Hastings is my role-model)? Shocked
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