The Cure

parisDramaqueen24 · [Thu Jan 22, 2009 1:34 pm]

a very thought provoking piece,Anonymouse makes you realise what you have and haven't got.

Thanks for the read.

Becky zzzzzzzzzzzz Very Happy

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Logicus tracticus · [Thu Jan 22, 2009 1:56 pm]

to life,? did you mean live or too life, as in as well as life...
Awaking in the morning..gives you an extra word to play with..
Perhaps look at the tenses in the last line, as well as replacing the and with then hovers to heighten the suspense of the ending..
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BrianRobertNeal · [Thu Jan 22, 2009 1:59 pm] **Watto Anonymous**

"Death where is thy sting"?

Oddly enough the state of mind you describe in the first para has been named "Anomie".

It's fascinating when prose can be as economical as poetry in its use of words to express an idea,

Brian

The reviewer would appreciate your comments on: Meet Vickie.

AnotherGlovePuppet · [Thu Jan 22, 2009 8:12 pm]

How much longer will this continue? Waking in the morning – yet again, forcing food down, verbalising and interacting with other hostages to life, moving around, completing mundane tasks, breathing … Give me a break!

It slides darkly through the door and hovers, faceless with glinting sickle.

“I’m a little early but I’ve come.”

... would be 53 words without any discernible loss of meaning. Seven whole words to spend. How did death know to come early? Are you saying the main character "called" him by resorting to suicide, or are you suggesting Death just knows when people are ready to go? Seven words should go a long way to clarifying.

Phots-Moll · [Fri Jan 23, 2009 2:23 pm]

I like it, although to me it seems that death has come a little late for your mc's liking.
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carrieann · [Sat Jan 24, 2009 6:30 am]

In an awful, dark way, I read this as a careful what you wish for scenario. The MC wasn't looking to die, just this bleak existence coming to an end. Found the grim reaper's early appearance highly effective.

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The Cure

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Short fiction [Other]	Moderators for this section: spiderbaby49, Poenamu, Lingua Pura, carolynrn, Inker
The Cure Outline: 60-worder How much longer does this go on? Waking up in the morning - yet again, forcing food down, verbalising and interacting with other hostages to life, moving from one place to another, carrying out mundane tasks, breathing... Give me a break! It slides darkly through the door and hovers, faceless with glinting sickle. "I'm a little early but I have come."