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Chris Ripple
Joined: 15 Dec 2007 at 1:36 pm
Location: Hertfordshire
Occupation: Eco-Warrior
Interests: Getting out there and doing it...
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Most of everything I write is designed to be performed live to an audience whether song or poem or whatever.
None of it is designed to be left mouldering in page form on shelves. Some political things are out of date earlier than others but some seem to have a life of their own and go on forever... I don't fathom these things, I just go with it.
Here are the works that have been published by Chris Ripple.
Click on the title to read.
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Poetry Showcase
Other The I Am A Bic Pen Amateur Blues
It's a blues...
07 Mar 2010 5 reviews
Other The Song Of The Rat
Damn things must think we humans are stupid ? Trouble is... They'd be right.
07 Feb 2010 5 reviews
Other The Competition
There was a competition to rename a local hostelry with a reputation for drug use...
25 Jan 2010 2 reviews
Other A Philosophy Major
One for who ?
15 Jan 2010 7 reviews
Other Do They Know It's Christmas ?
I personally think Bob Geldof got it wrong... I think it's more like this ? It's a poem 'cos I don't sing it, but I s'pose you could if you wanted to ?
19 Dec 2009 3 reviews
Other The Mark Of The Fever
A follow-up... of sorts.
15 Nov 2009 1 review
Other Lives Of Random Darkness
Child is Father to the man and all that...
15 Nov 2009 1 review
Other The Sanity Clause
Errr... Dunno ?
14 Nov 2009 2 reviews
Other Twelve Lines On A Dead Cyclist
The title gives it away, I fear ?
05 Nov 2009 5 reviews
Myths & Fairy Tales Hassles At Heaven's Gate
Another Performance Piece. Set at The Gates of Heaven where our officious little git of a hero is like all jobsworths everywhere... Overworked, underpaid and resentful of the fact he isn't in charge.
31 Oct 2009 6 reviews
Humour Rock'n'Roll Zero's (A Talking Blues).
A cautionary tale about disappointment in life's choices...
24 Oct 2009 2 reviews
Other Hallowe'en Jack
See... There's this sort of carnival barker sort of guy... Most definitely a performance piece. Dates from October 1993.
11 Oct 2009 4 reviews
Other Keep Back The Night
When it's very dark your imagination can go into freeflow...
29 Sep 2009 4 reviews
Other Rebel Without Applause (I'm A Good Ol' Rebel).
The rhyming and the structure is the Old anti-Union song from the U.S.A. with a few current British sentiments...
29 Sep 2009 4 reviews
Other The (Im)Proper Piss Take Of The Proper Published Poet
Written back in 1997 when someone I knew got published...
31 Aug 2009 5 reviews
Other I Wanna Be A Fish Joke
A reaction to cast changes on soaps on the tele' actually... Dates from 1995. (And very reluctantly, I've 'adulted' it.
02 Aug 2009 4 reviews
Other The Mark Of The Leper
Dripping with sarcasm and with his tongue stuck firmly in his cheek, he wrote...
26 Jul 2009 2 reviews
Humour Henry The Git (part one)
An adaption of Willy The Shake's Henry V for the holidaymakers among us...
19 Jul 2009 4 reviews
Other John Boy Sleeps On Walton's Mountain
Imagine there's no Waltons... It's easy if you try... ?
15 Jul 2009 4 reviews
Other Meaningful Song
An old 'Set Opener'.
13 Jul 2009 3 reviews
Other For Nicola, aged nine.
Homework for nine year olds.
07 Jul 2009 4 reviews
Romance A F*ck Is A Long Time In Politics
An out of date political poem about just one of the hypocricies of our wonderful government...
22 Jun 2009 2 reviews
Other The Girl With The English Hair
A 'pencil sketch' of my girlfiend's nine year old daughter (who is now my stepdaughter).
13 Jun 2009 12 reviews
Other Dumbing Down The Cult Of Celebrity
Why are they now filling our screens with the talentless ? They've already done it with radio.
13 Jun 2009 7 reviews
Other The Shade Of Warfare
An anti-war poem from a 'Shade's' perspective.
02 Jun 2009 3 reviews
Humour Someone To Depend On
A friend in need is a pain in the rectal area... (WARNING-One use of the 'F' word)
11 May 2009 1 review
Westerns Spaghetti Western
Whilst there have been two or three really good ones, the rest are absolute garbage. I wonder if the Coen Bro's would like to buy the script outline ?
16 Apr 2009 4 reviews
Historical The Breeding Pods.
Science Fiction ? You're having a larf !
10 Apr 2009 4 reviews
Humour Last Night My Girl Went Down On Me.
Well... It could happen ?
10 Apr 2009 5 reviews
Religious & Inspirational Two Skies Without Mystery
I just looked upward one night after remembering the morning...
04 Apr 2009 2 reviews
Other Just Like Tom Waits Blues (Klub Wiv No Name 1.30am).
Same rhythm and verse structure as Tom Waits 'Tom Traubert's Blues' but minus the Waltzing Matilda bit. Dates from 1995. Some gigs just go on too long...
02 Apr 2009 2 reviews
Psychological P.P.A.
A particularly vicious diatribe... (which I've tightened up, pruned, switched a couple of lines around and still kept what I wanted to say) Thanx to Carrieanne for the pointers.
02 Apr 2009 6 reviews
Other Flashback, Big Business and Fastbuck.
As close to autobiography as I've ever been (On stage). The time period is 1971 through 1973ish and WARNING it's got some SEX and DRUGGY bits in.
24 Feb 2009 3 reviews
Other Uninformed Uniforms And Grey Men's Lies.
It's an attitude thing... Ie. I've got one.
21 Feb 2009 6 reviews
Other Just 'Cause You're Paranoid (It Don't Mean They Ain't ...)
Just 'Cause You're Paranoid (It Don't Mean They Ain't Gonna Get You) to give it the full title, was the first track on my first CD 'Erring On The Side Of Paranoia' (2003). There's a pic in here somewhere. Sold out, but should be available as a free download sometime this year (2009).
06 Feb 2009 2 reviews
Other When I Was Young.
Sometimes, people say the most stupid things... You know exactly what they mean, but their phraseology creates a raft of possibilities... Here is the same poem with a different last line... I'm ambivalent and like them both so anybody wishing to review please leave your preference. Majority gets it.
05 Feb 2009 6 reviews
Other Abrogated Degradation.
Haven't a clue. It started and it finished. That's it. Tried it with music a couple of times and that didn't work either, so... Dates from 1997.
11 Nov 2008 3 reviews
Other The Bleeding Heart Liberal Rap.
I wrote it and then someone said "That's a bit bleeding heart liberal for you, isn't it ?" which gave me the title. It just never gelled with audiences. Dates from 1994 but seems to be current again right now...
11 Nov 2008 0 review
Psychological Psychodrama
I get more requests NOT to perform this one than any other I've written. Apparently it 'frightens' people ?
03 Aug 2008 8 reviews
Humour The All Inclusive Village Fete (For Rhythms Of The World).
And with my tongue stuck firmly in my cheek...
17 Jul 2008 5 reviews
Other Red Ribbons
Written for an AIDS awareness gig (and for a female friend who was being exceedingly stupid at the time...) WARNING. Contains a bit of SLANG, a bit of the VERNACULAR, and the 'F' WORD, and all to do with SEX (obviously). Dates from 1996. I would have hoped we are a little bit more aware now, but the amount of S.T.D's are rising in the young to epidemic proportions, so it's still happening...
09 Jul 2008 3 reviews
Other Beauty And Truth (In Memoriam).
Feelings... Why do people have to make things up to hurt someone ? The truth is usually more hurtful.
03 Jul 2008 2 reviews
Other Joyriding ?
The utter stupidity of some younger (than me) people. This is a SWEARING WARNING. There's some in it.
27 Jun 2008 6 reviews
Other Papering Over The Cracks In Life
Newspaper headline journalism... It's really rubbish isn't it ?
17 Jun 2008 5 reviews
Other Did You Mean What You Said ?
I'm all for releasing people back into the community, but psycho's ? I think I'm at odds with my Government again.
03 Jun 2008 7 reviews
Other Some Serious Dictating.
Sometimes the line between Church and State gets a little bit blurred... Dates from May 2001. Not sure if this is gonna get music to it at some point and am dubious about verse two ?
30 May 2008 4 reviews
Political See That My Name Is Kept Clean.
For Ric Von Schmidt for the quote... and to the memory of the great Blind Lemon Jefferson.
24 May 2008 3 reviews
Humour Queuing On Cue.
Come on, own up... Who amongst us does not feel like this occasionally ? Humour ? It raises a wry smile with those who recognise a bit of themselves within... Warning. Contains mild swearing.
19 May 2008 3 reviews
Other Canberra (An Old Lady Lay There Dying).
There was a documentary on tele'. I found it quite moving.
12 May 2008 4 reviews
Political Whisper His Name...
Why is it that we executed Saddam Hussein and didn't give this bloke up for trial for crimes against humanity ? Oh I remember... We don't like democratically elected Marxist governments, do we ? WARNING. I'm posting a VERY VIOLENT notice on this but I'm not 'over 18ing it'. I'd sooner pull it.
10 May 2008 2 reviews
Other Reading Poetry In Fairlands Valley Park.
My reaction to the council's Jobsworth from hell. One day one of these petty little people will say 'great idea... go for it...' When that day comes, hell will freeze over... I found out later he lied. We didn't need any of it.
05 May 2008 6 reviews
Humour Bionic Betty.
Written to win a bet (and I did).
23 Apr 2008 5 reviews
Other The Madman Ouroborous.
What goes around... Comes around.
16 Apr 2008 5 reviews
Humour 6.00 pm Incident.
I had three cats (All now sadly deceased) and this is a true story. There's a pic of Cozmic & Stella in the album, but Jodie's refuses to post for some reason.
11 Apr 2008 5 reviews
Other Scourge Of The Streets.
A poem about the hypocrisy over drug use within government circles. (No change there, then). Dates from Dec.1997. Caveat Emptor is Latin for Let The Buyer Beware...
07 Apr 2008 2 reviews
Humour Tax Exile On Main Street.
Posted for fun after alluding to a quote from the 'coolest man in rock' (Keith) in a reply to one of my previous posts. There are a few 'Stones' song and album titles scattered within, can you get all of them ? This is the first draft. If I get out the albums I could probably add to it and so it is unchangeable as I have counted the titles. WARNING. Includes one expletive.
05 Apr 2008 3 reviews
Religious & Inspirational Sermon On The Amount.
It'll probably be deemed offensive by the 'God Squad', so if that's your poison, please don't bother...
01 Apr 2008 6 reviews
Humour With Pride And Prejudice.
The late great Michael Flanders and Donald Swann wrote a song entitled 'Song Of Patriotic Prejudice' which includes the lines 'The English, The English, The English are best... I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest...' I wondered if it could be updated ? Dates from 2001.
25 Mar 2008 5 reviews
Romance It Might As Well Be You.
A cynical encounter between two people...
24 Mar 2008 7 reviews
Other A Four Letter Word Beginning With 'F'.
I came second in a poetry competition with this and received a cheque for twenty five quid... It was the only poetry competition I've ever entered. I'm not in competition with anyone.
18 Mar 2008 9 reviews
Other The Dodo Swings (And Flies With Jug).
For Michael 'Dodo' Marmarosa... Musician.
11 Mar 2008 2 reviews
Sport Eleven Hearts And A Lot Of Soul-Altered by newvoice and me
This one is actually about a game of football... Dates from 16th June 2002 if there are any Republic Of Ireland fans out there ?
09 Mar 2008 3 reviews
Other Cooking With Love.
It came from an old joke...
06 Mar 2008 7 reviews
Political Almost A Sonnet For World Leaders (For Carlo Giuliani).
Written in 2001 after the events in Genoa.
02 Mar 2008 2 reviews
Other The Forest Glade (Execution Ground).
A comment upon a mass slaughter...
25 Feb 2008 6 reviews
Political Marlboro' Country.
An ethical question for Her Maj' ? (To be read at 'rap' speed).
13 Feb 2008 5 reviews
Other 'Twas Long Ago And Far Away...
I think it's about 'trial by media' but that's just a guess...
08 Feb 2008 4 reviews
Political Hearts Of Darkness.
The truth about Africa... What do you think ? I was out there when this was posted although it was written a few years earlier...
25 Jan 2008 10 reviews
Romance Picnic On A Rainy Day
The beginning of a love affair which lasted six months...
15 Jan 2008 4 reviews
Other The Monster Kids.
My feelings toward some of the kids who used to come to the club I worked at in the early 1990's and I haven't changed my views since. Warning. It's quite long, so get your cup of tea and a sarnie first.
14 Jan 2008 3 reviews
Other Armageddon There... But Slowly...
Your guess is as good as mine ?
12 Jan 2008 3 reviews
Humour The Perfect Express Hut Pizza.
Just how long are you willing to wait ? A cautionary tale.
10 Jan 2008 5 reviews
Other The Soul Of Six Acre Wood.
I wrote it in the wood at 8.15am whilst sat on a tree trunk when I should have been working...
09 Jan 2008 6 reviews
Humour Bevy Chase (Or Blyth Panic & Drunk Sound Engineers).
This is a re-write of Blyth Power's song 'Chevy Chase'. The reason it's in the poetry section is 'cos I don't sing it. It's a poem done to the rhythm of Blyth Power's tune.
06 Jan 2008 2 reviews
Political To Erin The Side Of Peace.
A poem of hope, or at least it was when I wrote it (1994) then the second time I performed it I got a death threat. Two days later I received another... Just for performing a poem ????????
03 Jan 2008 5 reviews
Humour The Sun Readers Heartfelt Prayer
The 'Mail' readers would be more accurate but it just doesn't roll off the tongue as well...
02 Jan 2008 6 reviews
Political In Praise Of Thoughtful Drunkeness
A comment upon drinking quotes... and what happens after.
01 Jan 2008 6 reviews
Other In Quiet Dignity.
Written after the Tsunami tragedy for a benefit gig. Done live with Bass Relief, this is the shorter version and taken from a 2007 club date. (Adam & Olly are improvising). The longer version includes words by Joy T. Chance, but Joy was in Japan when we did the gig, so we appeared as a three piece without her input.
31 Dec 2007 1 review
Other If Only Billy Pigg
A comment (Imaginary) from the point of view of a hill farmer from the North East at the outbreak of foot and mouth in 2002.
27 Dec 2007 3 reviews
Political In The Line Of Duty
I get very annoyed with the arrogance of those who propogate 'us and them'... This one is for Lord Stevens.
26 Dec 2007 6 reviews
Other One Second Into Boxing Day.
So how do you rate the 'Sales' then ?
26 Dec 2007 3 reviews
Humour The Crown vs Christmas. F.
I wrote this back in the 'Tory' years, but in New Labour's it's coming true... Watch this space... Or Crimewatch !
24 Dec 2007 1 review
Sport Just one good thing...
Written as we were about to start on the debacle known as the last World Cup... altho' it's not really about football.
22 Dec 2007 5 reviews
Humour A Pensioner's pride.
I wrote this for my 'Old Man', who hates shopping... Warning. includes very mild swearing.
22 Dec 2007 5 reviews
Humour The Office Christmas Party
Been there, done that and bought (or might even have nicked) the T-shirt...
18 Dec 2007 9 reviews
Song Lyrics
Humour The Road Crew Work Song
The original is Kate McGarrigle's 'Work Song' from the first Kate and Anna McGarrigle album. I just adapted it for the road crews...
11 Oct 2009 3 reviews
Other - Sarcasm Nadine
The rhythm is recognisably rack'n'ruin or rock'n'roll or something like it...
11 Jun 2009 1 review
Humour Gordon (Golden) Brown remix # 4 ('Snouts In The Trough' mix)
I wish I could stop this, but more than that, I wish he'd stop it... and in the name of God... Go. Just realised I stuck it in the poetry section by mistake... Sorry, I was preoccupied with affairs of the heart...
03 Jun 2009 1 review
Political Gordon (Golden) Brown Remix # 3 (The Title Won't Fit) Mix.
It's an ongoing thing...
02 Feb 2009 3 reviews
Other How High's The Body Count, Mama ?
Johnny Cash's 'Five Feet High And Rising' brought from the river to the street. I don't usually post new stuff but this is getting its first 'musical' airing at Rhythms Of The World festival in two weeks time after previewing it 'acapella' style last night. It (unfortunately) seems to be the right time to post it. London 17-Stevenage 4 and I'm sure other towns have their results too...
30 Jun 2008 3 reviews
Humour Gordon (Golden) Brown Remix # 2 (The Crewe Cut Mix).
Just keeping up to date... Face it, this one's gonna run and run (Until the 'Dancing In The Street' Mix, anyway).
25 May 2008 3 reviews
Political Gordon (Golden) Brown Remix # 1 (The London loser mix).
Now come on... Don't be silly.
04 May 2008 4 reviews
Political He Is The Very Model Of A New Labour Politician...
This one's for Tony B'liar... Maybe I should change it to past tense and keep performing it or just retire it until he goes for President of Europe ?
01 Feb 2008 4 reviews
Political Anarchy in the Tory Part-ee
A re-write of the Sex Pistols classic from a Tory perspective...
31 Dec 2007 4 reviews
Political Gordon (Golden) Brown
One for 'Culloden's Revenge' who screwed up my pension...
31 Dec 2007 5 reviews
Humour Stevenage Woman (Redneck Woman).
A Girl named Gretchen Wilson had a hit with a track named Redneck Woman... It just seemed so right to 'adapt' it... Warning. Contains some serious 'attitude'. We don't call the place 'Chavenage' for nothing.
22 Dec 2007 3 reviews
Humour Frostie The Snowman
I wrote this about the job that I do in the daylight hours... Yes, it is a pastiche and yes, sadly, it is accurate.
17 Dec 2007 6 reviews
Here are the conversations and reviews that Chris Ripple has contributed to recently.
Click to see 'My Last' reply on any topic.
General Conversations [7]
What Music are you listening to right now? [97] My Last: 1d 21h 00m Latest: 03m by Ian Gould
The Amazingly Gripping Yarn (add 10 words to the story) [9] My Last: 12w 2d 03h 42m Latest: 5w 5d 00h 50m by Firecat
Got a funny feeling? My Last: 10w 2d 06h 06m Latest: 6w 00d 00h 32m by Phots-Moll
Gong 2032 [4] My Last: 6w 2d 22h 16m Latest: --
Aldeburgh Poetry Festival My Last: 19w 3d 06h 15m Latest: 19w 3d 01h 22m by Kate
Is mp3 thingy up and running currently ? My Last: 33w 3d 01h 49m Latest: --
Photo's/Albums. My Last: 103w 6d 23h 16m Latest: 103w 6d 23h 07m by Logicus tracticus
Work Comments/Reviews [317]
I AM the King [2] by Tnarg My Last: 1d 01h 27m Latest: 01h 24m by Tnarg
Stumpy the Worm by WickedGilly My Last: 4w 2d 02h 59m Latest: 2d 22h 54m by Shelley
To Write a Poem? [2] by Tnarg My Last: 16w 3d 09h 38m Latest: 5d 03h 13m by Tnarg
Men of War [5] by Scribbler My Last: 6d 19h 48m Latest: 5d 06h 35m by Scribbler
The End of the Affair by Piya My Last: 18w 3d 06h 15m Latest: 2w 5d 03h 07m by Piya
Chick Riddle by Dan dee Lion My Last: 16w 2d 03h 21m Latest: 3w 2d 01h 18m by anne other-one
Who's in the Duck-House Now? by Tnarg My Last: 4w 2d 07h 03m Latest: 3w 5d 01h 39m by Tnarg
Reporters. by Ian Gould My Last: 4w 1d 22h 51m Latest: 4w 00d 01h 14m by Ian Gould
Tom Ketchum by mmmmbeachlover My Last: 4w 1d 01h 00m Latest: --
Regale Regalia by mmmmbeachlover My Last: 4w 2d 06h 31m Latest: 4w 1d 04h 21m by mmmmbeachlover
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Flash Poetry
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All the Albums by Chris Ripple
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