| Poetry Showcase |
| Other |
The I Am A Bic Pen Amateur Blues
It's a blues... |
07 Mar 2010 |
5 reviews |
| Other |
The Song Of The Rat
Damn things must think we humans are stupid ?
Trouble is... They'd be right. |
07 Feb 2010 |
5 reviews |
| Other |
The Competition
There was a competition to rename a local hostelry with a reputation for drug use... |
25 Jan 2010 |
2 reviews |
| Other |
A Philosophy Major
One for who ? |
15 Jan 2010 |
7 reviews |
| Other |
Do They Know It's Christmas ?
I personally think Bob Geldof got it wrong... I think it's more like this ?
It's a poem 'cos I don't sing it, but I s'pose you could if you wanted to ? |
19 Dec 2009 |
3 reviews |
| Other |
The Mark Of The Fever
A follow-up... of sorts. |
15 Nov 2009 |
1 review |
| Other |
Lives Of Random Darkness
Child is Father to the man and all that... |
15 Nov 2009 |
1 review |
| Other |
The Sanity Clause
Errr... Dunno ? |
14 Nov 2009 |
2 reviews |
| Other |
Twelve Lines On A Dead Cyclist
The title gives it away, I fear ? |
05 Nov 2009 |
5 reviews |
| Myths & Fairy Tales |
Hassles At Heaven's Gate
Another Performance Piece. Set at The Gates of Heaven where our officious little git of a hero is like all jobsworths everywhere... Overworked, underpaid and resentful of the fact he isn't in charge. |
31 Oct 2009 |
6 reviews |
| Humour |
Rock'n'Roll Zero's (A Talking Blues).
A cautionary tale about disappointment in life's choices... |
24 Oct 2009 |
2 reviews |
| Other |
Hallowe'en Jack
See... There's this sort of carnival barker sort of guy... Most definitely a performance piece.
Dates from October 1993. |
11 Oct 2009 |
4 reviews |
| Other |
Keep Back The Night
When it's very dark your imagination can go into freeflow... |
29 Sep 2009 |
4 reviews |
| Other |
Rebel Without Applause (I'm A Good Ol' Rebel).
The rhyming and the structure is the Old anti-Union song from the U.S.A. with a few current British sentiments... |
29 Sep 2009 |
4 reviews |
| Other |
The (Im)Proper Piss Take Of The Proper Published Poet
Written back in 1997 when someone I knew got published... |
31 Aug 2009 |
5 reviews |
| Other |
I Wanna Be A Fish Joke  
A reaction to cast changes on soaps on the tele' actually... Dates from 1995.
(And very reluctantly, I've 'adulted' it. |
02 Aug 2009 |
4 reviews |
| Other |
The Mark Of The Leper
Dripping with sarcasm and with his tongue stuck firmly in his cheek, he wrote... |
26 Jul 2009 |
2 reviews |
| Humour |
Henry The Git (part one)
An adaption of Willy The Shake's Henry V for the holidaymakers among us... |
19 Jul 2009 |
4 reviews |
| Other |
John Boy Sleeps On Walton's Mountain
Imagine there's no Waltons... It's easy if you try... ? |
15 Jul 2009 |
4 reviews |
| Other |
Meaningful Song
An old 'Set Opener'. |
13 Jul 2009 |
3 reviews |
| Other |
For Nicola, aged nine.
Homework for nine year olds. |
07 Jul 2009 |
4 reviews |
| Romance |
A F*ck Is A Long Time In Politics
An out of date political poem about just one of the hypocricies of our wonderful government... |
22 Jun 2009 |
2 reviews |
| Other |
The Girl With The English Hair
A 'pencil sketch' of my girlfiend's nine year old daughter (who is now my stepdaughter). |
13 Jun 2009 |
12 reviews |
| Other |
Dumbing Down The Cult Of Celebrity
Why are they now filling our screens with the talentless ? They've already done it with radio. |
13 Jun 2009 |
7 reviews |
| Other |
The Shade Of Warfare
An anti-war poem from a 'Shade's' perspective. |
02 Jun 2009 |
3 reviews |
| Humour |
Someone To Depend On
A friend in need is a pain in the rectal area... (WARNING-One use of the 'F' word) |
11 May 2009 |
1 review |
| Westerns |
Spaghetti Western
Whilst there have been two or three really good ones, the rest are absolute garbage.
I wonder if the Coen Bro's would like to buy the script outline ? |
16 Apr 2009 |
4 reviews |
| Historical |
The Breeding Pods.
Science Fiction ? You're having a larf ! |
10 Apr 2009 |
4 reviews |
| Humour |
Last Night My Girl Went Down On Me.
Well... It could happen ? |
10 Apr 2009 |
5 reviews |
| Religious & Inspirational |
Two Skies Without Mystery
I just looked upward one night after remembering the morning... |
04 Apr 2009 |
2 reviews |
| Other |
Just Like Tom Waits Blues (Klub Wiv No Name 1.30am).
Same rhythm and verse structure as Tom Waits 'Tom Traubert's Blues' but minus the Waltzing Matilda bit. Dates from 1995. Some gigs just go on too long... |
02 Apr 2009 |
2 reviews |
| Psychological |
P.P.A.
A particularly vicious diatribe... (which I've tightened up, pruned, switched a couple of lines around and still kept what I wanted to say) Thanx to Carrieanne for the pointers. |
02 Apr 2009 |
6 reviews |
| Other |
Flashback, Big Business and Fastbuck.
As close to autobiography as I've ever been (On stage). The time period is 1971 through 1973ish and WARNING it's got some SEX and DRUGGY bits in. |
24 Feb 2009 |
3 reviews |
| Other |
Uninformed Uniforms And Grey Men's Lies.
It's an attitude thing... Ie. I've got one. |
21 Feb 2009 |
6 reviews |
| Other |
Just 'Cause You're Paranoid (It Don't Mean They Ain't ...)
Just 'Cause You're Paranoid (It Don't Mean They Ain't Gonna Get You) to give it the full title, was the first track on my first CD 'Erring On The Side Of Paranoia' (2003). There's a pic in here somewhere. Sold out, but should be available as a free download sometime this year (2009). |
06 Feb 2009 |
2 reviews |
| Other |
When I Was Young.
Sometimes, people say the most stupid things... You know exactly what they mean, but their phraseology creates a raft of possibilities... Here is the same poem with a different last line... I'm ambivalent and like them both
so anybody wishing to review please leave your preference. Majority gets it. |
05 Feb 2009 |
6 reviews |
| Other |
Abrogated Degradation.
Haven't a clue. It started and it finished. That's it. Tried it with music a couple of times and that didn't work either, so...
Dates from 1997. |
11 Nov 2008 |
3 reviews |
| Other |
The Bleeding Heart Liberal Rap.
I wrote it and then someone said "That's a bit bleeding heart liberal for you, isn't it ?" which gave me the title.
It just never gelled with audiences. Dates from 1994 but seems to be current again right now... |
11 Nov 2008 |
0 review |
| Psychological |
Psychodrama
I get more requests NOT to perform this one than any other I've written. Apparently it 'frightens' people ? |
03 Aug 2008 |
8 reviews |
| Humour |
The All Inclusive Village Fete (For Rhythms Of The World).
And with my tongue stuck firmly in my cheek... |
17 Jul 2008 |
5 reviews |
| Other |
Red Ribbons
Written for an AIDS awareness gig (and for a female friend who was being exceedingly stupid at the time...)
WARNING. Contains a bit of SLANG, a bit of the VERNACULAR, and the 'F' WORD, and all to do with SEX (obviously).
Dates from 1996. I would have hoped we are a little bit more aware now, but the amount of S.T.D's are rising in the young to epidemic proportions, so it's still happening... |
09 Jul 2008 |
3 reviews |
| Other |
Beauty And Truth (In Memoriam).
Feelings... Why do people have to make things up to hurt someone ? The truth is usually more hurtful. |
03 Jul 2008 |
2 reviews |
| Other |
Joyriding ?
The utter stupidity of some younger (than me) people. This is a SWEARING WARNING. There's some in it. |
27 Jun 2008 |
6 reviews |
| Other |
Papering Over The Cracks In Life
Newspaper headline journalism... It's really rubbish isn't it ? |
17 Jun 2008 |
5 reviews |
| Other |
Did You Mean What You Said ?
I'm all for releasing people back into the community, but psycho's ? I think I'm at odds with my Government again. |
03 Jun 2008 |
7 reviews |
| Other |
Some Serious Dictating.
Sometimes the line between Church and State gets a little bit blurred... Dates from May 2001.
Not sure if this is gonna get music to it at some point and am dubious about verse two ? |
30 May 2008 |
4 reviews |
| Political |
See That My Name Is Kept Clean.
For Ric Von Schmidt for the quote... and to the memory of the great Blind Lemon Jefferson. |
24 May 2008 |
3 reviews |
| Humour |
Queuing On Cue.
Come on, own up... Who amongst us does not feel like this occasionally ? Humour ? It raises a wry smile with those who recognise a bit of themselves within... Warning. Contains mild swearing. |
19 May 2008 |
3 reviews |
| Other |
Canberra (An Old Lady Lay There Dying).
There was a documentary on tele'. I found it quite moving. |
12 May 2008 |
4 reviews |
| Political |
Whisper His Name...
Why is it that we executed Saddam Hussein and didn't give this bloke up for trial for crimes against humanity ?
Oh I remember... We don't like democratically elected Marxist governments, do we ?
WARNING. I'm posting a VERY VIOLENT notice on this but I'm not 'over 18ing it'. I'd sooner pull it. |
10 May 2008 |
2 reviews |
| Other |
Reading Poetry In Fairlands Valley Park.
My reaction to the council's Jobsworth from hell. One day one of these petty little people will say 'great idea... go for it...' When that day comes, hell will freeze over...
I found out later he lied. We didn't need any of it. |
05 May 2008 |
6 reviews |
| Humour |
Bionic Betty.
Written to win a bet (and I did). |
23 Apr 2008 |
5 reviews |
| Other |
The Madman Ouroborous.
What goes around... Comes around. |
16 Apr 2008 |
5 reviews |
| Humour |
6.00 pm Incident.
I had three cats (All now sadly deceased) and this is a true story. There's a pic of Cozmic & Stella in the album, but Jodie's refuses to post for some reason. |
11 Apr 2008 |
5 reviews |
| Other |
Scourge Of The Streets.
A poem about the hypocrisy over drug use within government circles. (No change there, then). Dates from Dec.1997.
Caveat Emptor is Latin for Let The Buyer Beware... |
07 Apr 2008 |
2 reviews |
| Humour |
Tax Exile On Main Street.
Posted for fun after alluding to a quote from the 'coolest man in rock' (Keith) in a reply to one of my previous posts.
There are a few 'Stones' song and album titles scattered within, can you get all of them ?
This is the first draft. If I get out the albums I could probably add to it and so it is unchangeable as I have counted the titles. WARNING. Includes one expletive. |
05 Apr 2008 |
3 reviews |
| Religious & Inspirational |
Sermon On The Amount.
It'll probably be deemed offensive by the 'God Squad', so if that's your poison, please don't bother... |
01 Apr 2008 |
6 reviews |
| Humour |
With Pride And Prejudice.
The late great Michael Flanders and Donald Swann wrote a song entitled 'Song Of Patriotic Prejudice' which includes the lines 'The English, The English, The English are best... I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest...'
I wondered if it could be updated ? Dates from 2001. |
25 Mar 2008 |
5 reviews |
| Romance |
It Might As Well Be You.
A cynical encounter between two people... |
24 Mar 2008 |
7 reviews |
| Other |
A Four Letter Word Beginning With 'F'.
I came second in a poetry competition with this and received a cheque for twenty five quid...
It was the only poetry competition I've ever entered. I'm not in competition with anyone. |
18 Mar 2008 |
9 reviews |
| Other |
The Dodo Swings (And Flies With Jug).
For Michael 'Dodo' Marmarosa... Musician. |
11 Mar 2008 |
2 reviews |
| Sport |
Eleven Hearts And A Lot Of Soul-Altered by newvoice and me
This one is actually about a game of football... Dates from 16th June 2002 if there are any Republic Of Ireland fans out there ? |
09 Mar 2008 |
3 reviews |
| Other |
Cooking With Love.
It came from an old joke... |
06 Mar 2008 |
7 reviews |
| Political |
Almost A Sonnet For World Leaders (For Carlo Giuliani).
Written in 2001 after the events in Genoa. |
02 Mar 2008 |
2 reviews |
| Other |
The Forest Glade (Execution Ground).
A comment upon a mass slaughter... |
25 Feb 2008 |
6 reviews |
| Political |
Marlboro' Country.
An ethical question for Her Maj' ? (To be read at 'rap' speed). |
13 Feb 2008 |
5 reviews |
| Other |
'Twas Long Ago And Far Away...
I think it's about 'trial by media' but that's just a guess... |
08 Feb 2008 |
4 reviews |
| Political |
Hearts Of Darkness.
The truth about Africa... What do you think ? I was out there when this was posted although it was written a few years earlier... |
25 Jan 2008 |
10 reviews |
| Romance |
Picnic On A Rainy Day
The beginning of a love affair which lasted six months... |
15 Jan 2008 |
4 reviews |
| Other |
The Monster Kids.
My feelings toward some of the kids who used to come to the club I worked at in the early 1990's and I haven't changed my views since. Warning. It's quite long, so get your cup of tea and a sarnie first. |
14 Jan 2008 |
3 reviews |
| Other |
Armageddon There... But Slowly...
Your guess is as good as mine ? |
12 Jan 2008 |
3 reviews |
| Humour |
The Perfect Express Hut Pizza.
Just how long are you willing to wait ? A cautionary tale. |
10 Jan 2008 |
5 reviews |
| Other |
The Soul Of Six Acre Wood.
I wrote it in the wood at 8.15am whilst sat on a tree trunk when I should have been working... |
09 Jan 2008 |
6 reviews |
| Humour |
Bevy Chase (Or Blyth Panic & Drunk Sound Engineers).
This is a re-write of Blyth Power's song 'Chevy Chase'. The reason it's in the poetry section is 'cos I don't sing it. It's a poem done to the rhythm of Blyth Power's tune. |
06 Jan 2008 |
2 reviews |
| Political |
To Erin The Side Of Peace.
A poem of hope, or at least it was when I wrote it (1994) then the second time I performed it I got a death threat.
Two days later I received another... Just for performing a poem ???????? |
03 Jan 2008 |
5 reviews |
| Humour |
The Sun Readers Heartfelt Prayer
The 'Mail' readers would be more accurate but it just doesn't roll off the tongue as well... |
02 Jan 2008 |
6 reviews |
| Political |
In Praise Of Thoughtful Drunkeness
A comment upon drinking quotes... and what happens after. |
01 Jan 2008 |
6 reviews |
| Other |
In Quiet Dignity.
Written after the Tsunami tragedy for a benefit gig. Done live with Bass Relief, this is the shorter version and taken from a 2007 club date. (Adam & Olly are improvising).
The longer version includes words by Joy T. Chance, but Joy was in Japan when we did the gig, so we appeared as a three piece without her input. |
31 Dec 2007 |
1 review |
| Other |
If Only Billy Pigg
A comment (Imaginary) from the point of view of a hill farmer from the North East at the outbreak of foot and mouth in 2002. |
27 Dec 2007 |
3 reviews |
| Political |
In The Line Of Duty
I get very annoyed with the arrogance of those who propogate 'us and them'... This one is for Lord Stevens. |
26 Dec 2007 |
6 reviews |
| Other |
One Second Into Boxing Day.
So how do you rate the 'Sales' then ? |
26 Dec 2007 |
3 reviews |
| Humour |
The Crown vs Christmas. F.
I wrote this back in the 'Tory' years, but in New Labour's it's coming true... Watch this space... Or Crimewatch ! |
24 Dec 2007 |
1 review |
| Sport |
Just one good thing...
Written as we were about to start on the debacle known as the last World Cup...
altho' it's not really about football. |
22 Dec 2007 |
5 reviews |
| Humour |
A Pensioner's pride.
I wrote this for my 'Old Man', who hates shopping... Warning. includes very mild swearing. |
22 Dec 2007 |
5 reviews |
| Humour |
The Office Christmas Party
Been there, done that and bought (or might even have nicked) the T-shirt... |
18 Dec 2007 |
9 reviews |
| Song Lyrics |
| Humour |
The Road Crew Work Song
The original is Kate McGarrigle's 'Work Song' from the first Kate and Anna McGarrigle album.
I just adapted it for the road crews... |
11 Oct 2009 |
3 reviews |
| Other - Sarcasm |
Nadine
The rhythm is recognisably rack'n'ruin or rock'n'roll or something like it... |
11 Jun 2009 |
1 review |
| Humour |
Gordon (Golden) Brown remix # 4 ('Snouts In The Trough' mix)
I wish I could stop this, but more than that, I wish he'd stop it... and in the name of God... Go.
Just realised I stuck it in the poetry section by mistake... Sorry, I was preoccupied with affairs of the heart... |
03 Jun 2009 |
1 review |
| Political |
Gordon (Golden) Brown Remix # 3 (The Title Won't Fit) Mix.
It's an ongoing thing... |
02 Feb 2009 |
3 reviews |
| Other |
How High's The Body Count, Mama ?
Johnny Cash's 'Five Feet High And Rising' brought from the river to the street. I don't usually post new stuff but this is getting its first 'musical' airing at Rhythms Of The World festival in two weeks time after previewing it 'acapella' style last night. It (unfortunately) seems to be the right time to post it. London 17-Stevenage 4 and I'm sure other towns have their results too... |
30 Jun 2008 |
3 reviews |
| Humour |
Gordon (Golden) Brown Remix # 2 (The Crewe Cut Mix).
Just keeping up to date... Face it, this one's gonna run and run (Until the 'Dancing In The Street' Mix, anyway). |
25 May 2008 |
3 reviews |
| Political |
Gordon (Golden) Brown Remix # 1 (The London loser mix).
Now come on... Don't be silly. |
04 May 2008 |
4 reviews |
| Political |
He Is The Very Model Of A New Labour Politician...
This one's for Tony B'liar... Maybe I should change it to past tense and keep performing it or just retire it until he goes for President of Europe ? |
01 Feb 2008 |
4 reviews |
| Political |
Anarchy in the Tory Part-ee
A re-write of the Sex Pistols classic from a Tory perspective... |
31 Dec 2007 |
4 reviews |
| Political |
Gordon (Golden) Brown
One for 'Culloden's Revenge' who screwed up my pension... |
31 Dec 2007 |
5 reviews |
| Humour |
Stevenage Woman (Redneck Woman).
A Girl named Gretchen Wilson had a hit with a track named Redneck Woman... It just seemed so right to 'adapt' it...
Warning. Contains some serious 'attitude'. We don't call the place 'Chavenage' for nothing. |
22 Dec 2007 |
3 reviews |
| Humour |
Frostie The Snowman
I wrote this about the job that I do in the daylight hours...
Yes, it is a pastiche and yes, sadly, it is accurate. |
17 Dec 2007 |
6 reviews |
